Shaman You, Nicole
Nicole Richie apparently believes she is under the influence of more than alcohol—more than cocaine, heroin, crystal meth, model airplane glue, Sudafed, TrimSpa, Head-On, lice medicine fumes, or Red Bull enemas, even. That’s right, she’s talking about bad juju, and the wafer-thin starlet has hired a shaman to help turn her fortunes around:
Richie’s run of bad luck in 2006 includes her split from fiancé Adam ‘DJ AM’ Goldstein, a rumored eating disorder that landed her in a treatment center desperate to gain weight, and the horror of learning her beloved cat had broken its leg after plunging 10 floors from the balcony of her apartment.
The shaman, who bore a striking resemblance to the Apocalypto extras who have been wandering Hollywood for the past six months begging for auditions, “chanted, danced and burned sage in every room of the star’s home for two hours.” Neighbors reported hearing the following mystical incantations during the ritual:
Tom bo li de, say de moi ya
Yeah, jambo, jambo
Way to party, o we goin’
Oh jambali
Tom bo li de, say de moi ya
Yeah, jambo, jambo!
When reached for comment, Richie’s cat said, “Ten floors ain’t enough, huh? Anybody know how to get to the roof of this place?”
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January 10th, 2007 20:32
Nicole,
We all go thru periods of weird luck, it will all look silly to you within a few weeks.. We sometimes have to take the good with the bad or visa-versa, it will get better. Don’t worry about what others think, just keep your family close.
DH
January 10th, 2007 20:37
Oh, Nicole keeps her family close, all right–they’re in a dungeon in her basement. (It’s just past the foosball table and to the left.)