I Don’t Think You’re Ready For This Kelly
Role model and avid feminist Kelly Osbourne wants you to know that growing up rich and semi-famous is a valid excuse for substance abuse and depression.
It’s so easy for me to fall back into depression. I think it comes with having money. I don’t have to work. I could be sitting bored and depressed at home with a bag on my head.
Scientists agree with Kelly, noting that Mother Teresa would never have helped all those sick orphans if just once she had been able to party at Hyde with Brandon Davis. “You know why Ghandi changed the world?” not one of them said. “Because he was fucking broke.”
Speaking of “bag on her head,” Osbourne expressed a desire to pose naked for Playboy magazine.
I’d go fully nude, but I’d have to have some airbrushing on my tits.
Unless “tits” is some new slang word meaning “face, hair and body,” I’d say that’s extremely generous of Kelly. In fact, an impromptu survey of every living creature has shown that a layout featuring Mother Teresa riding reverse cowgirl on Ghandi’s corpse would outsell naked photos of Kelly Osbourne.
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on Tuesday, January 9th, 2007 at 3:38 pm and is filed under Celebriwhores, Fat People, Gazillionaires, Idiots, Nakedness, Terrorism.
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January 10th, 2007 08:13
I dont think the airbrush is the right photoshop tool. I’d use the clone stamp to copy the background over her whole body, and then i’d use Ctrl-V to paste in someone that doesn’t make me want to tear my eyeballs out.
January 10th, 2007 12:21
I’d also use the history brush to go back in time and give Sharon Osborne some birth control.
January 11th, 2007 00:21
Photoshop can’t fix that bitch. There isn’t a version of photoshop that CAN yet. That’s an Adobe product from the future. The only thing that can make it better is if she uses a body double that looks nothing like her.
May 2nd, 2007 07:27
Kelly Osbourne knows she’s not exactly skinny, she knows she not paris hilton and she knows she’s a spoilt brat. She really dosnt give a fuck either… oh wait let me refrase that… I dont give a fuck!! I’m trying to give regular girls confidence ok so by me being the way i am now, im telling a hundred thousand girls out there that it dosnt matter if your not as fucking skinny as your best freinds pinky finger, it dosnt matter what you wear or how you wear it, if you have confidence the way you are… than you can do ANYTHING you put your mind too. so all you guys^^ can go and get FUCKED!! see im not as stupid as you think.
May 2nd, 2007 12:59
We love you Kelly!
http://www.junkiness.com/?p=1742