Kate & Pete & Repeat & Rehab

Supermodel Kate Moss and superaddict Pete Doherty have decided to consecrate their relationship with the most sacred commemoration of a couple’s love provided by our society—that’s right, they’re checking into rehab together:

A source tells British newspaper The Sun, “They arrived together and they will be supporting each other.” Doherty has attempted rehab on numerous occasions in a bid to tackle his heroin and crack cocaine habits. Moss was herself treated in 2005 after being caught on camera snorting cocaine.

The many substances from which Moss and Doherty will be weaning themselves include: cocaine; crack cocaine; rock cocaine; cocaineburgers; Cocaine-ables™; heroin; opium; ecstasy; sextasy; methamphetamine; betelnuts; methambetelnuts; nicotine-patch burritos; malt liquor; tamiflu; polonium 210; fumes of glue made from Kentucky Derby-winning thoroughbreds; fumes of Manu Ginobili’s jockstrap; something called a “Metham-hero-coke-stasy Salad,” and the ashes of Gerald Ford (you snort them).

A spokesman acknowledged that it won’t be easy for the pair to kick so many habits simultaneously, but stated that “Kate and Pete would like everyone to know that they could never make it through this difficult time without the love and support of their hundreds and hundreds of pounds of marijuana.”

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 30th, 2007 at 3:56 pm and is filed under (not America), Celebriwhores, Drugs, No Shit. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.