Hair You Go!
Esther Tognozzi, the enterprising American who owns the salon where Britney Spears (commonly known as The Next Anna Nicole™) shaved her purty little head last weekend, is offering the star’s discarded locks for auction, with bidding beginning at the paltry sum of one million dollars:
You can be the proud owner of Britney Spears’ hair, extensions, the Omega clipper used to cut it all off and even the can of Red Bull she was drinking at the time… This is the Ultimate Britney Spears Experience!
I know, it’s a steal—but before you get out your checkbooks, consider some of these other fine celebrity clippings which are also currently available, and at a fraction of the price:
- George Clooney’s Christmas drain clog (removed 12/24/06) … $7,500
- Paris Hilton’s crabs … $0.50 ea. (live) or $0.35 ea. (dead)—ask about our volume discount!
- Tara Reid’s third and fourth nipples … $2,100 (pair)
- The contents of Teri Hatcher’s wrinkle vacuum from the month of January … $3,000
- Laura Bush’s penis … $15,000 (accessories sold separately)
- Yakov Smirnoff’s toe-fungus cream (still 1/3 full!) … $32.50
- Stephen Dorff’s totally illogical self-regard … A billion zillion dollars
- Barack Obama’s middle name … Just take it, will you?
- Abe Vigoda’s unpublished erotic memoirs … $50 (signed)
- Andy Dick … $9.95 (pick up only)
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on Tuesday, February 20th, 2007 at 3:55 pm and is filed under America!, Business, Celebriwhores, Shots at Stephen Dorff.
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February 20th, 2007 19:22
be sure to ask for a certificate of authenticity with that Laura Bush penis. There are a lot of forgeries out there. Really beautiful, artfully made forgeries, but forgeries nonetheless.
February 20th, 2007 20:11
I’m glad you brought that up–you should never buy a Laura Bush penis unless it has her name and Social Security number tattooed on the inside of the foreskin (most people don’t realize that Laura was uncircumcised).