Hair of the Dog
Have you been keeping up lately? In the past three weeks we’ve witnessed nine of the seven signs of the apocalypse. Shit is crazy! 
Capitol Hill? More like Crapitol Hill. Rove’s on the loose and Cheney’s still taking shots. Bush and the Supremes have finally realized that the Earth is hot, so Congress wants to put us on the next planet over. Don’t worry–we’ll be keeping ourselves warm around the most patriotic campfire ever!
Speaking of burning shit, which is more fucked up: a kid who burns his family to hide a bad grade, or a kid who desecrates a corpse so that he can take a toke? Kids burn the darnedest things.
Shiloh Nouvel is already past her prime. Will Brad and Angie’s next kid be adopted? Will it be older? One thing’s certain: it won’t be Japanese.
Britney’s finally escaping the spotlight and handling it in her own Brit-ish way: by applying nonsensical animal catch-phrases.
But here’s the most unbelievable shit of all:
Stephen Dorff does not have a boner for dudes.
Warren Buffet and Bill Gates have lost their boners for unending wealth.
I know that’s a whole lotta “what the fuck?!!” to take in at one time. So take tomorrow off and celebrate America’s birthday with a stiff drink and a stiff boner, just like the one Stephen Dorff doesn’t get for guys.
This entry was posted
on Monday, July 3rd, 2006 at 6:00 am and is filed under Hair of the Dog, Nonsense.
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