Electricity is For Pussies
If you’re one of the 3,000 “customers” in Queens who still hasn’t gotten your motherfucking power back after, like, a fucking week of showering in the dark and tripping over garbage that you don’t even know why you left in the middle of the room in the first place, here’s what we have to say to you…
Stop being a little whiny bitch.
You don’t need electricity to have fun. Or work. Or live. Or just, you know, not go crazy. Fuck no! There’s plenty of superfun things you can still do. Here’s a few suggestions…
- Have sex with some random stranger just so that you can brush your teeth in their bathroom.
- Drink way too much in Manhattan and then fall asleep on a nice air-conditioned subway car.
- Begin composing long and boring “Back in the blackout of aught-six…” anecdotes.
- Masturbate. A lot.
- Think about masturbating. A lot.
- Not get any work done.
- Yell at your desk lamp.
- Fume.
- Die.
This entry was posted
on Monday, July 24th, 2006 at 2:22 pm and is filed under Death, Force Majeure, Nonsense.
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July 25th, 2006 00:51
how long did the power end up being out for? did they ever figure out a reason why?
July 25th, 2006 00:58
according to my blinking alarm clock, the power was restorded at around four or five p.m. today, after approximately a week. the lights are still a little dim, though. but, who cares?
i still don’t know why this happened, and i don’t know if they do.
July 25th, 2006 18:30
a week without power…what is this the 1900s? people cant function like that. we freak if the power is out for over a day…
July 25th, 2006 19:59
my power went out last nite in west hollywood. just my building though. half my building just went down to the clubs to sweat it off.
glad to know things can be fixed eventually. so i hope to god my power’s on when i get home.
love your tips. ciao
July 26th, 2006 05:32
[...] † the whole dakota fanning doing a rape scene in her upcoming film is just weirding me out {dlisted} † shame on me for not keeping up w/ the big brother feeds – thankfully TW does! {tabloid whore} † jessica simpson got struck with a case of ants in her pants bikini… {hollywood tuna} † awww…madonna leaving the beach all wrapped in towels looking like the saint she is! {mollygood} † with the electric outage woes one awesome blog declares electricity is for pussies! {junkiness} † oh say it ain’t so! the end of the world must be near…hasselhoff the musical? ugh! {cele|bitchy} † congrats to ms. gillian anderson who is expecting! gosh i still miss those ‘x-files’ {we love celebs} † too funny – you must go and watch these crazy people try to teach you how to disco! {cityrag} † ah my matthew mcconaughey is up to sexy sporty things again – this time surfing! {splash news} † but wait who the hell is that girl with my matthew mcconaughey – giving him a backrub!?! {x17} [...]