Jordan Bratman’s Luck Keeps Confounding Scientists
Christina Aguilera’s marriage to her husband Jordan Bratman brings her to tears, literally.
“I’ve never been so in love, so happy or felt so alive. I start to cry when I think of everything he has brought into my life. It still feels overwhelming to have married that one person who I completely love and adore.”
Responded Bratman, “I still don’t get it. She thinks I’m the best thing ever. I mean, look at me: she has sex with that every night. I just don’t get it. I’m dead and in heaven, right?”
When asked to comment, renowned physicist Steven Hawking said, “There’s no rational explanation for it. I hate that guy. I hate him and want to bang his wife. It’s not fair. Life is not fucking fair.”
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on Friday, August 4th, 2006 at 9:26 am and is filed under Celebriwhores, Marriage, Science.
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August 23rd, 2006 11:13
I hate Jordan Bratman I hope one day she wakes up in the morning and sees him and thinks what is that ugly rubber lips thing I have marrid. Christina needs her head and her eye sight testing.
September 3rd, 2006 22:18
tru
November 18th, 2006 20:43
Did you know that Christina was inspired to name the song “Hurt” because of her hubby, Jordan Bratman’s looks?
February 14th, 2007 04:30
OMG thats so mean…not always the cutest guy is the best one.
March 2nd, 2007 22:15
wtf christina needs her eyes fixed dis is just as bad as jay z an beyonce they can get any man they want but they choose the ugliest atleast jay z is rich az fuck an powerful 2 his looks make him a average catch wat df is jordan bratman he’s uglier than jay z his lips r about the same 2 am i right.
March 2nd, 2007 22:41
LMAO u right tane if he luvs christina for real he would step aside an let her get a hot man not a geeky hairy ape i heard he makes her get naked 2 he wouldnt luv her if she was ugly as fuck so why does she luv him he is ugly as fuck it makes me sick
March 25th, 2007 16:30
Jordan Bratman looks Jewish
November 7th, 2007 15:07
jordan bratman is sooooo uglyi mean i knw looks arent everything but god is christina blind the guy has the features of a monkey that ugly son of a bitch i hope she leaves him!