Paris Hilton Inspires Countless Space Cadet Jokes

Having accomplished her goal of getting an STD in every country on Earth, Paris Hilton is planning to take the crab-lice orphanage she calls a vagina to outer-space. She’s already paid $195,000 for a seat on Richard Branson’s still-unbuilt spacecraft, but she may have a rude awakening ahead of her:

Hilton may find the lack of luxury onboard a little trying as all passengers are required to wear diapers because there are no bathroom facilities on the shuttle.

A source says, “She was a fan of the Star Wars films and the idea of blasting into space thrills her, but I don’t think she’s done the research – the reality may not be her idea of fun.”

The leap from crapping in a lowly poor-person toilet to wearing diapers might not seem like a big deal, but you have to remember Paris doesn’t eliminate her excrement like unwashed commonfolk. She poops into a mink pouch and has her turds lovingly transported aboard a luxury ocean-liner to a Swiss vault. Meanwhile, her rectum is wiped clean with a 15-carat diamond, flushed with Dom Perignon and patted dry with the original Magna Carta.

However, there is good news for Hilton. Branson will be offering his passengers diapers fashioned from baby-pelts and the feathers of cloned dodo birds.

This entry was posted on Monday, August 28th, 2006 at 3:34 pm and is filed under Celebriwhores, Gazillionaires, Mr. Obvious Joke, Nonsense, Science. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.