Tell Us Who to Hate!
It looks like DNA, that persistently annoying tool of the anti-faith-based reality crowd, is up to its nefarious business once again. This time, it’s telling us that John Mark Karr–a 
man we all knew in our heart-of-hearts had murdered poor little JonBenet Ramsey after we all knew in our heart-of-hearts that her mother Patsy killed her–didn’t kill her after all.
What the fuck?! I mean, really! What the fuck?!
Now I don’t know if we’re supposed to go on hating John Mark Karr or if we’re supposed to go back to hating Patsy Ramsey? Or, are we supposed to hate somebody new, some still-unidentified evil person?
Screw that, man. That’s no fun. I wanna hate someone real! I mean, if we’re not allowed to suspend all logic and wait until more facts come in, we might as well just push this whole logic thing back further and further, until we don’t hate anyone at all.
And that’s just not gonna happen.
UPDATE: John Mark Karr still maintains that he’s the one we should be hating. But Boulder County District Attorney Mary Lacy is all like, “No, don’t go hating Karr. And fuck off while you’re not at it.” Well, that’s a paraphrase…
“The way he told the story (of how JonBenet died), the DNA would have been his and it was not,” Lacy said. “He is not the killer.”
Can’t she just let us believe? What a fucking bitch. Why does she hate poor little JonBenet? And our troops?
This entry was posted
on Tuesday, August 29th, 2006 at 12:41 pm and is filed under Crime, Death, Science.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
August 29th, 2006 14:07
[...] – Own Britney Spears’ half-eaten egg salad sandwich. Some genius put it on eBay [Agent Bedhead] – Bastardly theories and speculations about the John Mark Karr Jon Benet Ramsey murder case, or lack thereof [Bastardly] – Who are we supposed to hate for killing Jon Benet Ramsey, tell us! [Junkiness] – Liv Tyler caught eating [yeeeah] – Tom Cruise’s new job [CityRag] – New celebrity magazine, Shock, plans to go where all the blogs have been like every day [Jossip] – Puffy takes a pee, compares it to sex [Socialite’s Life] – Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen host a Canadian “Much Music” event, and Mary-Kate even cleaned up a little [Mollygood] – Nicole Richie literally falls for Brody Jenner [PopSugar] – Bruce Springsteen denies that he’s split with his wife [Celebrity-Moms] – Pete Doherty’s band got a $1.8 million endorsement gig. That’s right – that Pete Doherty [CelebGuru] – Jon Voight calls his granddaughter, Zahara Jolie-Pitt, “Shakira” [DListed] – Quincy Jones, 73, is dating a 19 year-old girl! [Glitterati] – Spiderman 3 gets more action scenes [Popoholic] – Brad and Angelina at the airport [Gabsmash] Posted in Links [...]
August 29th, 2006 18:50
He TOTALLY WOULD HAVE had intercourse with her and strangled her if minor obstacles like time and space didn’t fuck it up.
My main problem with his story is that the six year old JonBenet is probably more physically intimidating than John Mark Karr. So, add getting beat to a pulp by a hot 50lb toddler to the list of obstacles.