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James Brown’s Widow Wants to Clear Up a Few Things

If you’ve been reading The Huffington Post, you may have already seen this mind blowing video of James Brown’s widow on “Entertainment Tonight.”

Most of the video features only the widow Brown’s side of the conversation, which we admit, could make anyone appear crazy. Subsequently, we offer this version of the whole conversation which might explain her bizarre, not unracist dialogue.

E.T.: Is this true? Did James have an irrational fear of being imaginary?
Brown: My husband would not let anybody see him not made up.
E.T.: Are you sure?
Brown: I was his hairdresser. Trust me.
E.T.: I heard he enjoyed Jeff Golblum movies.
Brown: It had to be FLY, okay? All the time.
E.T.: I understand he often addressed you in French, even though you don’t speak it.
Brown: But that was part of the je ne sais quoi of James Brown — that you didn’t get it.
E.T.: Who is Tony Danza?
Brown: He was The Boss.
E.T.: But he was the housekeeper.
Brown: Papa didn’t take no mess. None.
E.T.: Your husband hated that show. He threatened to shoot you if you didn’t change the channel?
Brown: And he said “I’ll kill you if you leave.” And I rolled over and he missed me.
E.T.: I was told it was his final wish that you eat macaroni and cheese the day he died.
Brown: I didn’t know my husband was gonna die… and I had pizza.
E.T.: This report says you think all cross-eyed people are criminals.
Brown: I’m sorry. I am not a prejudiced woman. But not many [shifts eyes back and forth] hanging out in my circles. You know what I’m saying?
E.T.: Pretend all black people are cats. Now tell me how many cats you’ve had sex with.
Brown: James is the first cat I ever been with.

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