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Ayatollah Not to Get AIDS!

The government of Iran, fresh from displaying their scientific prowess in last year’s triumphant Holocaust denial conference, announced Saturday that the country’s researchers have produced an herbal cure for HIV and AIDS:

The herbal drug, called IMOD, is the result of five years of research and has been tested on 200 patients. It boosts the human body’s immunity system in a 90-day treatment course and a 2-year follow up.

Although the ingredients of IMOD are a closely guarded secret, a source within the Iranian Health Ministry told Junkiness that key components of the drug include ginseng, parsley, and the remains of every single HIV-positive person in Iran.

When asked what was next for the Iranian scientific community, a spokesman said, “Well, now that we have the process down, we can’t wait to apply the same techniques towards developing a cure for Judaism.”

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