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And Iran… Iran So Far Away

Seymour Hersh, perennial muckraking thorn in the Bush administration’s sexy side, penned a piece for this week’s issue of The New Yorker—for those of you in the Bible Belt, that’s the magazine of record for elitist Jewish liberals who hate the troops and want to gay-marry your farm animals—which reveals that President Bush is planning to attack Iran. (That’s “Iran” with an “N,” not to be confused with that other Middle Eastern nation we recently liberated in kick-ass, totally non-chaotic fashion.)

Hersh also describes how the U.S. has been covertly supporting al-Qaeda-linked radical terrorist groups in Lebanon, because the groups are purportedly more hostile toward Iran then they are toward the United States:

One fascinating revelation is that “budgetary chaos” in Iraq is creating “pots of black money” for covert purposes… [and] some cash for Siniora’s beleaguered pro-Western government in Beirut… has found its way to Sunni radical groups with ideological ties to al-Qaeda.

Sounds fool-proof, doesn’t it? However, some unpatriotic doubters might say that funding al-Qaeda to weaken Iran is a little bit like…

  • Having sex with Paris Hilton in the hope that her syphilis will beat up your cancer
  • Cheering up an underachieving child by sending him to stay at “Neverland”
  • Fighting stubborn soap scum and mildew stains by burning your house to the ground
  • Protecting yourself from “Mad Cow” disease by sucking out your brain tissue with a Shop-Vac and replacing it with molten lead
  • Getting back at your cheating girlfriend by having an affair with a dead hobo
  • “Robbing Peter to pay Paul,” if “Peter” is Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and “Paul” is Osama Bin Laden and they both have nuclear bombs

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