Junkiness is hard at work gathering the latest facts in the Sinbad possibly not dead investigation. Here’s what we have so far:
- At approximately 9:28 a.m. this morning, mail was delivered to Sinbad’s home.
- Overhead surveillance shots of Sinbad’s residence revealed a roof.
- At the time of Sinbad’s last medical visit, his physician deemed him “alive.”
- If you play Jingle All the Way backwards, it still sucks.
- Sinbad was rumored to be signing autographs at an L.A. Dollar Tree, but upon closer inspection the autographs read, “Best Wishes, Kid nâ€™ Play.”
- Sinbad recently told friends he could be Dannielyn’s father. Or grandfather.
- Odors emanating from Sinbad home were linked to an old copy of First Kid.
- Ugly oversized sweater was found in an L.A. dumpster reeking of failure.
- Suicide note proven false as it was funnier than most of Sinbad’s material.
We will keep you posted. In the meantime, we’re reminded of the old joke: “If there were an internet rumor about the death of a brother, I think it would go a little something like this . . . “