Junkiness - For Addicts of News, Gossip and Heroin

Because We Know How Far Is Too Far

We at Junkiness are firm believers in the formula “Comedy = Tragedy + Time – Time,” and always attempt to set aside whatever troubling feelings of restraint may crop up during times of crisis, for the comedic good of the nation. Yesterday, however, as word of the tragic shootings at Virginia Tech reached our desks, we paused to consider the effects that any ill-timed cheap humor might have upon the grief of those whose loved ones have not yet been buried.

So it was with great sensitivity and compassion that we therefore rejected the following headlines about the tragedy:

  • Why No One Asked, “Hey Cho, Where You Goin’ with That Gun in Your Hand?”
  • Marilyn Manson Awaits Blame, Anyone to Remember He Exists
  • Klebold and Harris Rolling Over In Shared Gay-Grave
  • Michael Moore Begins Work on Bowling for Virginia Tech, Deep-Fried Meatball Hoagie
  • Ashton Kutcher Apologizes for Worst Episode of Punk’d Ever
  • David Byrne Responds to Tragedy: “Psycho Killer? Ques que c’est? Fa Fa Fa Fa, Fa Fa Fa Fa Fa Fa!”
  • Yes, Virginia, There is a Shooter Claus
  • In Sensitivity to Victims, EA Games Delays Release of Madden Campus Vengeance ’07
  • NRA Unveils New Slogan: “Guns Don’t Kill People; Asians Kill People”
  • 33 Dead at Fox News in Mass Pundit Stampede
  • Shooter of South Korean Origin; Bush Announces Invasion of Thailand

3 Responses to “Because We Know How Far Is Too Far”

  1. mutterhals
    April 17th, 2007 15:06

    I love you!

  2. Not...Funny
    April 19th, 2007 22:39

    Thats really pushin it

  3. kristina
    April 19th, 2007 23:27

    I think that ya’ll did a great thing putting this on here when other idot’s are putting ignorant things online. When this is no joking matter.

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