With war, genocide and other atrocities raging througout the world, it’s easy to feel pretty helpless. Fear not though. You too can help curb worldwide negativity by participating in an upcoming event called the Global Orgasm:
The intent is that the participants concentrate any thoughts during and after orgasm on peace. The combination of high-energy orgasmic energy combined with mindful intention may have a much greater effect than previous mass meditations and prayers.
The goal is to add so much concentrated and high-energy positive input into the energy field of the Earth that it will reduce the current dangerous levels of aggression and violence throughout the world.
With that in mind, it seems like no coincidence that Christina Aguilera has decided to whore it up on her tour:
Pop star Christina Aguilera has vowed to make her new tour raunchier than ever. The singer vowed to tone down her sexiness after marrying Jordan Bratman last year, but instead she plans to channel her marital bliss onstage with an extravaganza including circus acts and costumes designed by Roberto Cavalli.
So when you think about it, the Dalai Lama is kind of a lightweight compared to Xtina. Personally, I only jack off to him about half as often as I do to her. Seriously, I heard one time on the set of the Dirrty video, a bunch of dead orphans came back to life and joined the Peace Corp.
Gandhi? MLK? Maybe if they’d gotten boob jobs and wore assless chaps they wouldn’t have been such failures.